Plight of the White Dress

Walk into any department store and you'll see racks of dresses. Red dresses, yellow dresses, blue dresses, green dresses, dresses with stripes, dresses with dots, halter-dresses, strapless dresses, dresses with built-in bras, see-through dresses, dresses your mother would forbid you to ever wear, dresses your grandmother would absolutely die if she saw you wearing, dresses your boyfriend would sweat if he saw you wearing...the list goes on.

(Actually, those last three might fall under the same category. Just saying.)

But there's no white ones.The request seems simple. A WHITE dress. W-h-i-t-e. Not black. White. I mean, brides wear white dresses. La, la, la, here comes the bride...in a white dress.

A few months ago, I had to purchase a white dress for an event I was going to. (Yeah, I'm cool. I go to events.) Anyway, THERE WERE NONE. The only white dresses I saw were of the potato sack variety. Honestly, it looks like someone took those shapless straw bags straight from the farm, slapped a coat of white paint on it, and threw it onto the racks.

The other ones were glorified sheets: long, drape-y and gauzeish. Sounds kind of ethereal, right? Sure. If you're making an ethereal ghost costume for Halloween by cutting two holes out of your bedcovering and throwing it over your head. Boo.

So, here's a missive to the mall: get some lightly hued dresses in stock, and then we'll talk.